It’s been a while since I dropped in, said hi, and welcomed you to this part of my world, which feels so very personal and vulnerable right now.
Through my work and life, I pray to manifest my truest self. That’s not Sarah’s polished-up side but the messy side—the part of myself that begs for truth in whatever form it takes.
Because, as I have learned, anything other than truth will harm me.
Everything changed for me when I was 13. My parents divorced, and a few years later, my Dad died.
Life looked like this one day; a day later, it was unrecognizable.
Recently, my mentor spoke of trauma metaphorically. He said when trauma happens, we are thrown out of our bubble of security. All we knew before the event is no more, and if we are to transform our most profound agony into life-long blessings, we must find guides and community to help us.
I am not sure how or why I got the incredible privilege to live and grow through my trauma, but I did. My intuition’s guidance for living beyond desperation and suffering paved a trail. Along that trail were teachers, mentors, healers, and kind-hearted beings who escorted me through those dark woods. There isn’t a fancy- polished-up reason why I made it through- I heeded the call because the alternative sucked. I couldn’t bear the reality that said, the rest of my life would feel as desperate and exhausting as it felt right then.
I come to you today as I lift my head once again from a colossal life loss—a family member’s unexpected death. I have self-care tools I have taken to memory; they are dear, trusted friends, but they don’t take the pain away. What they do, though, is allow me the infrastructure to feel this loss in all its forms.
Sometimes, I feel sad and question reality. Other times, I reason with reality as though I can make a deal to change the outcome. All of this is an attempt to understand—a desperate plea not to hurt like this ever again. Yet I know now that this life school will bring pain again and that the very best I can do is stay on this healing path, recognizing the obstacles that have all the potential to steer me away from my learning; they show up as resistance, complacency, and perfection. I can feel the protective shell I used to wear as a security blanket, but now, feels like armor that shrinks and hurts me.
The gold on this daunting path is surrender, release, vulnerability, community, creative expression, and faith—so much faith. As I stand in my tender skin of release, I can feel the blessings flow in whispering, “Stay open, stay open, stay open.”
And so, dear friends, thank you for sharing this journey with me. Until next time, stay open, vulnerable, and true to your most authentic self.
* Here are this week’s Journal prompts:
- Reflect on a time when your life changed suddenly and drastically. How did you cope and what helped you through?
- How do you typically respond to pain and suffering? Can you cultivate surrender and release to move through difficult times with grace?
- How do vulnerability, community, and faith support you in your journey toward truth and authenticity? How can you deepen these connections to navigate life’s challenges with resilience?
Author & Spiritual Life Coach with a holistic approach to life. My purpose in life is to live in my truest form. To inspire others to change habits that no longer serve them, create a new infrastructure for healing & growth, and learn to reign over the inconsistent and cruel messaging that often pours forth from the inner voices of those in need of healing. My mission is to provide wisdom and life-long practices so you can return home to yourself – to your truest form.
