David and I have just made our second move in two years, and I was secretly hoping that this move would come and go without too much upheaval, but that was not to be. Moving ranks high in what shakes up our world most (in fact, studies have shown that the five most stressful life events one can go through are death, divorce, moving, major illness, and job loss). Life as we know it changes and nothing is the same.
I am a person that relies on the routines and rituals of my life. They are the signposts that direct my energy back when things go upside down and sideways. They haul me back home to the familiar when life feels untethered. Nothing could have surprised me more than the overwhelming emotion that showed up with this move. My mind wanted answers; my body wanted to rest, and my spirit was actively pulling me towards exploring the underlying meaning of the upheaval, which I resisted. The fact is, sometimes life throws profound changes at us, which mold us, shift us and disrupt life as we know it. The best remedy for dealing with that is to hang with what shows up, and take great care of ourselves as we do that.
There is so much to learn in these times of upheaval but we have to be willing to go there, and I wasn’t ready yet. So I felt the disorder, confusion and aggravation that this experience put in front of me and sat with it. I invited the feelings on my walks, to my meals and into my dreams. I let go of the resistance and accepted what was in front of me, no matter how uncomfortable that made me feel.
In this tender place, I have an acute understanding of what feels most supportive and healing, and I direct my energy there. I am also celebrating the part of myself that feels brave enough to allow these disruptive feelings space in my life to be what they need to be.
When our spirit calls us to pay attention, it is best we listen. There is always something to learn and the sooner we can do that, the sooner we can get back to delighting in what we have gained through the process. Adversity makes us stronger, and although that fortitude has not been completely revealed to me yet, I have hope it will arrive very soon. Here’s to believing!!