When she left, a piece of me walked out with her. I was 13. My mother was the hub of the wheel that was my young life. But now, with each passing day, that wheel became more and more bent until eventually, it was no longer a wheel.
My father was the minister of our small New England town. A kind man of little words but strong faith. He knew for years what had been happening. In fact, he permissed it.
On the day that my mother left, my father had long been fighting a disease that would soon be his end. It was a battle that he couldn’t bear my mother have to suffer the burdens of. And so she found someone else.
That being said, my life was blessed. I had loving brothers and sisters around me. I went to the best schools. And I still had my father. I believed he’d live forever, even after I learned about his ailment. Until that day, on a walk in the woods, when he told me that I’d have to prepare for a life without him and forgive my mother.
I couldn’t accept it. Not him. Not him. Not . . .
He died when I was 16. Although I had plenty of familial support, I was lost on the inside. But to the outside world, I kept it together.
After high school, I took a year to sort through all the loss and participated in the Dynamy Internship in Worcester, Massachusetts. The year-long program included a month of Outward Bound and an internship study for the rest of the time. My internship was at a women’s clothing boutique in Shrewsbury, Massachusetts. Eileen, who owned the boutique, became my lifelong friend and mentor, and I opened my own boutique at the age of 21.
Then, I met David. He was a strong man with a kind heart and a light sense of humor. Maybe the fact that he could tell I was wounded made it easy for him to sweep me up, but I didn’t mind. Life with him was safe, loving, and . . . comfortable. And I wasn’t used to comfortable. Not in the emotional sense. A part of me had been trained to handle chaos. I didn’t know how to deal with this new phenomenon of emotional stability. But I learned. And he learned. And we had a child. Then a second child. But deep inside, the storm still swirled. Heavy childhood trauma cuts deep . . .
I found massage therapy and entered an intense two-year program. It was my first step within. I caught a glimpse of the idea that body, mind, heart, and spirit were all connected. My eyes were opened to another way of life that brought internal and external life together.
That being said, internally, I was still a train wreck. With a marriage and kids and a new home, and being a young business owner with all that life was throwing at me at the time, I was stressed and my own body was suffering. I couldn’t dare express it on the outside, though. I had to show that I had it all together. But on the inside, the wheels were falling off. I stopped taking care of myself and became isolated.
And then I discovered Kundalini Yoga. I’ll never forget that first class. It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. Through the practice, I was slowly reintroduced to myself. To the self that was present before my mother left. Before my dad died. And that has been with me since. Kundalini gave me my life back.
I could breathe again (literally and emotionally). I did teacher training in 2004 and opened Kundalini Yoga Barn in Hollis, New Hampshire. And I haven’t looked back.
I wanted to go deeper into the theory and philosophy behind these transformative practices I’d become so fond of. I enrolled in divinity school and became an ordained Interfaith Minister through the Tree of Life Seminary in 2012. My studies opened my eyes to the common threads in all major world religions and spiritual traditions. I fell in love with Judaism, Sufism, and Taoism–all of which I’d never been introduced to before.
I reached a point in life where I was done striving. I was done guessing and manipulating and controlling outcomes. I came to the realization that outcomes were the root of my stress and dis-ease in life. Even though I’d experienced my share of “unfavorable outcomes,” I also saw that my life had been blessed and that each “unfortunate event” was necessary to shape me into myself.
Through a life of trial and error and a spiritual practice rooted in several ancient and modern wisdom traditions, I’d finally shifted the focus from outcome to inner peace. And I was free.
In 2015, I set out to examine my practice and this crazy journey of healing I’ve taken in order to create a signature process of sacred self-care. Today, I work with women from all around the world both one-on-one and in groups to help them start and maintain a practice of radical self-care so that they can come home to the lives that rest under their feet.
When I’m not speaking, teaching, or coaching, you can find me getting intentionally lost on long dog walks or hanging out on the porch at our family property in Cape Cod sitting and laughing late into the night.
For the last twenty-five years, Sarah Brassard has been guiding women from a place of struggle in life to one of grace, peace, and ease through her signature process of sacred self-care.
As a spiritual coach, Sarah helps people re-establish peace inside. Once a safe inner environment has been secured people return to themselves with a willingness to observe the experiences that have kept them stuck. Before long, with this new viewpoint – that of loving kindness, their awareness begins to change.
She is the author of Inside: A Guide to the Resources Within published in 2018. The book details the self-care practices that sparked Sarah’s healing journey and inspired her work in helping women move from trauma to transformation.
Sarah presents at corporate and nonprofit venues both big and small and currently hosts Mindfulness, Meditation, and Stress Reduction classes at Groton Wellness, Pilgrim’s Landing, and Stanley Black & Decker. Her work is ignited by an enthusiastic dedication to integrating body, mind, heart, and spirit as well as an unshakeable conviction that there’s nothing in life that can’t be healed.
GET THE SELF CARES MATTERS NEWSLETTER
LET'S CONNECT ON SOCIAL