When I decided to move ahead, change my life and cultivate new ways of being, the first steps I took were the steps that encouraged self care, self healing, and self love. I knew that I had to start building strength from the inside out. I found practices, teachers and mentors, and began to meet my pain instead of avoiding it. One of the most intriguing and difficult aspects of observing my pain was realizing I could get a little space from the intensity and immediacy of any situation if I just stopped and realized that there was a greater purpose to my life than the issues that were in front of me right now. I recognized that when negative thoughts flooded my brain, and I stood back from the confusion, I was less likely to react, act impulsively and do something that I’d later regret.
I started to ask questions that were my concerned with my reaction than the event that had triggered my feeling defensive in this particular situation. What this did was it allowed me to witness myself, from an objective rather than a subjective perspective.
If this sounds foreign to you, don’t worry, it did to me at first too. What this kind of inquiry nurtures is the understanding that we are more than our minds and that there is a greater purpose to our being here than just the activities of a given day. It also allows us to step back from our minds and take responsibility for ourselves in a way we may never have done before. We start to deeply notice our actions, words and lives as a whole and when this become a consistent practice we naturally become more conscious about everything we participate in in life.
This exercise helps you strengthen different more positive impulses and retrains your brain to respond in more expansive ways. Attaching to fearful and negative ways of being restricts all opportunity for growth. You, in fact, become the negativity, and live the sad storyline because you don’t feel there is any real difference between you and the burdensome, sad story you have created.
At first, it was hard to distinguish any difference between the me as my mind/ ego, and the witness/spirit/ soul, but as I started to pay attention, my perspective broadened. I realized that if I didn’t automatically align myself with my anxious thoughts, the ego, then I could change the way I behaved and be more generous in my action, the spirit. Now, when I encountered a trigger, it was possible for me to step back from the trigger and choose whether or not to engage into it or just let it go.
This kind of noticing is called witness consciousness and what this consciousness helped me witness about myself was that I lived in a reactive emotional state most of the time.
The first line of business in my healing became understanding that I had the ability to separate myself from difficulty. And with the additional space I gained through witness consciousness, I learned to breathe, re-access and respond to my life instead of react to it. This was a revolutionary awareness for me and I was fascinated with this new way of relating to myself. It took time to work with all that showed up emotionally but I no longer felt rolled over by the ancient, sad memories. I now had a new way to view them and not play into all the sensations that appeared when they were triggered.
In my book, Inside- A Guide to the Resources Within you will be given many practices that will help you cultivate your witness consciousness. You will begin to understand as your relationship with your spirit grows how vitally important self care and self love are to life long happiness and peace.
My intention for the book is to help you raise awareness, grow a relationship with intuition, wisdom and spirit and to help you establish a practice that supports these relationships for the rest of your life.
Once you re-ignite your spirit in a direction that feels safe and deeply considered, it will be the end of loneliness in your life. You will count on your spirit as a long lost friend, and never doubt the loyalty and quality of the information it delivers to you because it connects you to greater power and knowledge.
You start to feel deeply connected and know that you are not alone on the many journeys of life. Every day you go to your practice and commit time to self nurturing, self awareness and the strengthening of the body, mind and spirit you fortify this connection and once connected you will never be separate from it again.
True healing is this reconnection. Trauma and all of the dysfunctional habits we establish to numb ourselves from trauma, separate us from our spirit and this separation is the extraordinary loneliness we feel in our darkest moments of suffering. You are building an architectural structure that will connect you to your life in the most profound ways and all this starts by cultivating witness consciousness and observing all of the walls that are keeping you from your deepest longings and ultimately your precious life.