I never went to college. There it is. My secret, which I really didn’t know was a secret, is out. I wasn’t hiding the information. But by sidestepping the topic, I never felt resolve around it and didn’t realize how much it influenced everything I did.
It’s not that I didn’t want to go to college. I was 16 when my father died, and just staying afloat physically, mentally, and spiritually meant that college wasn’t a priority. For me, a Capricorn with type A tendencies and a philosophical infrastructure, this reality brought shame, embarrassment, and regrets. So I adopted overachieving habits. I became an expert in proving them wrong (although I didn’t know who them was). I accomplished great things at a young age, but always having something to prove eventually burned me out.
I have come to understand that when life hits us hard, we do the best we can with the circumstances we find ourselves in. I no longer have reason to overcompensate, perfect, or prove anything to anyone.
I take ownership of my shortcomings and embrace with huge appreciation the lessons I have been able to move through.
My life is now set up in a way that supports inner discovery. Inner discovery will look different for each of us, but I have found that believing it can be different is the first step, and then committing yourself to that belief—not once in a while but every day—is what will make things change.
Start by making time to sit, breathe, and listen, not to the outside noise but to what is happening inside. Find that stillness. In the beginning, it may feel like one more thing to do, but with dedication and faith, daily moments of stillness will become your lifeline.
We have all come here to heal through the unhealable wounds of our lives. Some of us will do that. When you find forgiveness and compassion for the hurt you’ve received and caused, you move closer to yourself. That’s what it takes.
Today I feel ready for the great next steps. I am living my dream, sharing my life with my loved ones, teaching from my book, and connecting with practices that have healed me from the inside out.
I no longer give strength to the emotions that lie under the surface, only to those that are brave enough to come into the light. What are your greatest fears?
This meditation helps bring awareness to them.
Meditation to Reveal Your Deepest Fear
(Adapted from Ellen Tadd’s book The Infinite View )
- Find a comfortable seat, on a chair or on the floor with a lengthened spine.
- Feel your breath as you inhale and your belly expands to a count of 3. At the top of the breath, pause for 3 counts, then exhale for 3 counts. Do this 10 times. Then breathe naturally for 1 minute. If your mind wanders, guide it back to the breath.
- Bring your attention to the point between your brows, and repeat the breathing pattern above while keeping your focus at the brow point. Do this 10 times. Then breathe naturally for 1 minute. If your mind wanders, guide it back to the breath.
- Now ask this question: “What is my greatest fear?” Keep your focus at the brow point and listen to what you hear. Once you hear something that resonates, ask the question again. Continue to ask until you feel you have clarity on your answer. Then breathe naturally for 1 minute. If your mind wanders, guide it back to the breath. Journal your feelings.
- Now ask this question: “What is my greatest desire?” Keep your focus at the brow point and listen to what you hear. Once you hear something that resonates, ask the question again. Continue to ask until you have clarity on your answer. Then breathe naturally for 1 minute. If your mind wanders, guide it back to the breath. Journal your feelings.
- Work with your discoveries this week. Experience what it is like to bring fear into the light. If this exercise brings on overwhelming feelings of vulnerability, practice this grounding method for a sense of safety.
Thank you for reading my posts. I hope you find them supportive, if so, please comment and share. Come with me on this journey to set your life in motion. Sign up for my newsletter, and interact with me on my social media channels, I love hearing from you.
We are in this life together, learning, growing and healing from one another. Awareness of this truth is the essence of humanity.
Peace on the trail…