In the weariest, most depleted times of my life, any thoughts of self love, self care and self honoring were inconceivable for me. Not only did these terms trigger anger and insult, but they left me reeling in confusion of what they really meant. I felt detached from their meaning because I was detached from myself.
I was personally consumed with judgment and sadness, and it was taking up all sorts of space in my life. I had no relationship to the love of self. In fact, I was actively trying to get as far away from myself as possible through activities that avoided going inward to heal and love. I vividly remember these feelings of separation and loneliness. There was a deep hole in my spirit that no one outside of myself could fill up. These were the loneliest times of my life.
This loneliness started to give way to the understanding that no else could help me feel better about me.
This was the proverbial light bulb needed to help me move beyond disempowering dependencies that had me stuck in looking outside of myself for help and healing. I needed to take responsibility for my own love of self, and I did. This was the beginning of my relationship with my spirit.
I look back now on those lonely times and I am filled with compassion for what I felt and what I learned. I also have great gratitude for what those struggles activated in me. What I realized is that I am survivor, and that I was put on this earth by a Creator that believed I was worth something extraordinary. I started to connect with the hurt in my heart as a young innocent being that needed help in finding her way out of the confusion and into the light. I praised myself for every small effort in the direction of healing and could feel my container for love, compassion and forgiveness growing bigger every day. My love of life was palpable now with self love as a foundational pillar.
So this Valentine’s Day, love the one you’re with all the time, every second of every day. The one that looks back at you in the mirror, the one you hold when you’re sad, the one that will be with you to the end of your days: Beautiful, wonderful, YOU!
Bless Your Heart.